In case you didn't know, for the month of December I created a digital resource on Friendship that can be accessed here, and opened up for questions from my Instagram followers on the topic. I also took a poll to see if my followers preferred me answering the questions via blog post, live video, pre-recorded video, or social media post, and blog post had the most votes. So with that being said, I will be answering the questions here on the blog! Here we go:
Question 1: Do you find it hard to find a good friend?
I would have to say no. Even if they aren't my friend in terms of constant communication or other standards set by society, they are still friendly and a friend to someone. I think a lot of people feel that the only people worth having a friendship with are their friends. You can find a good friend everywhere, but whether they are supposed to be your friend is a different story. I typically make friends easily, though.
Question 2: Do you have any long-distance friends?
Absolutely, and they are some of my closest ones!! Thank God for technology!
Question 3: How do you maintain a good friendship?
If I could give you a one-size-fits-all answer, I would but it really depends on the friendship. Generally, I would say that one way to ensure the maintenance of a good friendship is by focusing more on what you are offering to the relationship than the other person. If you are more focused on what the other person is or is not doing then you will find yourself resenting the person for expectations that they were not aware you wanted them to meet. Give grace. Nobody is perfect.
Question 4: What is the longest friendship that you have had?
Ah, I think the longest has been with my friend, Sterling. We have been friends for around 15 years!
Question 5: What factors may result in the breakdown of a good friendship?
Stagnation (not understanding that it's normal and healthy for relational dynamics to vary throughout the course of the friendship; the "this is how it's always been" mentality; the "you've changed" attitude), immaturity, no/poor communication, gossip, dishonesty, and the list goes on.
Question 6: Do you believe parents should be friends with their children?
If we can be "friends of God," I don't see why we can't be friends with another human. It's not friendship that negatively impacts children; it's the lack of boundaries. I respect my friends and vice versa, so to be a friend does not necessarily imply a lack of respect. With that said, being your child's friend doesn't automatically mean they won't respect you. It's what you make it.
Question 7: Do you have any strengths or weaknesses as a friend? Are you a different "self" with each friend?
Strength: I am supportive, authentic, and I listen.
Weakness: My fear of vulnerability and/or rejection causes me to withdraw sometimes.
Of course dynamics and conversations vary with each friend, but at the end of the day, I remain my true self.
Question 8: How often do you talk to your friends?
It ranges from multiple times a week to a few times a month. I am blessed to be a part of friendships where the quality of the friendship isn't measured by the frequency of our conversations.
Question 9: How can you get to know a person better?
Ask questions, LISTEN, pay attention to their interests, hobbies, passions, etc.
Question 10: Are your relationships with others better or worse than a few years ago? Why?
They are MUCH better, because I sucked at communication, was a people-pleaser, would not initiate friendships due to trust issues, and took just about everything to heart. Soooo much has changed over the past few years, and I celebrate that!
Alright, I decided to answer 10, and chose a few random questions to make things even. Thank you for taking the time to read my answers to these questions. I would love to know your answers to the questions, so make sure you leave a comment on this post or on my social media post!
P.S. Look out for January's resource, discussion, and Q&A beginning 1/1/20!
I identify key characteristics and provide a detailed assessment in my digital resource: "Friendship Status." My hope is that it serves as a guide for reflecting past friendships, assessing current friendships, and wisdom for potential friendships in the future. Oh and guess what - it can help you navigate not just through friendships but other relationships that may apply as well.