I have always been intrigued by the idea that once you become a wife or mother, you somehow lose yourself. You lose your body, frame of mind, outlook on life, productivity, ambition, time with God, passion, dreams, and the list goes on. This idea, among other clichés often presented to single women, almost made me afraid to get married and start a family.
I did not want to lose myself, my devotion to God, my ambition, or anything else… and thankfully, I haven’t.
So far, I have learned two things about radiating faith at home as a wife, mother, and business owner:
First things first, seeing your spouse and children as motivators and enhancers rather than barriers is game-changing. Relationships and families are gifts from God.
If I see them as anything other than that, I am convicted to question whether what I am desiring is really in line with God’s will for my life.
It is worth exploring why I would feel that my husband and daughter are somehow “holding me back.” Something about being a wife and mother causes you to prioritize and realize what’s important. The things you pursue should not be sought out to prove that you are more than just a wife or mother. When you do, the issue is with your own heart, insecurities, and voids, rather than with your spouse or kids. At the end of the day, whether it’s a hobby, self-care routine, devotional practice, new business venture, or quality time with your spouse or children – if you really value it, you will make time.
Secondly, being a wife and mother is ministry. Rid your mind of the false assumption that what you do for your family is not of value to God. You don’t get a degree, license, or ordination certificate for being a wife or mother. You will rarely be praised publicly for what you do, except on special occasions. However, it is just as much ministry and requires just as much gifting as anything else. Your family will always be your first ministry, and home is where you will often find you bear the most fruit. Or are at least challenged to. It is easy to love and operate in gifts among those you only see once or twice a week, but is your faith radiating at home with those you do life with every day? It is easy to be passionate about giving and serving when you are instantly gratified with public praise and accolades.
But what about all the moments that no one outside your home sees and will never “praise” you for?
Whether visible or not, large or small, what you do matters and is of significance to God.
In the days to come, remember that your devotion, love and faith can radiate both inside and outside of the home. Keep planning for that event, keep networking, keep writing that book, keep striving for that goal, keep inviting God’s presence into your home, keep making time for yourself.
Being a wife or mother should only enhance or fine-tune who you are and what you are passionate about.
The first step to appreciating the gifts of marriage and motherhood is understanding that they help you find yourself rather than cause you to lose yourself. When you internalize that and it becomes a reality for you, your entire perspective on practical faith and ministry will shift for the better.